By Emily Dahmer Let me ask the question again. What if your appearance was not the reason you showed up to an exercise class? What if it was about everything BUT that?!
Are you still with me? Annoyed already? Wherever you are, welcome! Writing a blog post with a title like this one felt overwhelming to me at first. People have such strong feelings surrounding health and wellness, which is understandable and fair- I do too! I wonder if today I might present one of the ideas that has deeply changed my exercise the last couple of years, and it starts with finding your WHY.
I’ll begin with my own Why story. For years, my Exercise Why was to burn calories and look good. I filled calendars with logs of my daily workout stats: calories burned, miles logged, and pace. My motivation was to look good post-babies, and I was able to carve the body I wanted with this Why. My appearance-focused Why led me to exercise when I was sick, hadn’t slept in weeks (thanks new babies!), or injured. My old Why left me injured and bruised on the inside. None of my efforts were ever good enough, nor did the target ever stop moving. It was a sad mindset, looking back, and it did nothing to improve my quality of life. Here’s the truth, friends- when your Why is based solely on your appearance there is always work to do, and you will never be satisfied. Fitness is a commitment to caring for your mind AND your body.
Transitioning my mindset toward kindness to myself has truly changed my life. Movement now is about honoring my body first and foremost. My Why today is rooted in self-care, and I view time spent exercising as a gift to myself. When I’m taking a Sculpt class, choosing a different exercise option if I need to (i.e., taking out jumps in jumping jacks) makes me feel strong. I give myself permission to be where I am without negative self-talk, this keep me safe in my body, and I rarely struggle with pain/injury anymore. I still exercise nearly every day. I still care what I look like, I do want to be honest about that. The physical side effects of exercise are nice, it’s true. That said, my new Why leads me to care less about appearance than I ever have before.
My New Exercise Why:
I want to feel good in my body. When I move often I feel strong, mobile, and less stressed.
I want to model body kindness and wellness for my kids.
Getting sweaty with a group of other people makes me feel connected and part of a community.
In closing, can I just tell you today that you have permission to rest? You have permission to enjoy your movement, whether that looks like pushing yourself a little harder or pulling back. There are no downsides to moving your body, especially when you choose to move in ways that feel fun, exciting, safe, and motivating to you. Here’s a suggestion: Try changing your focus from your appearance to your efforts. Notice how hard you worked or how you gave yourself permission to take a different option during class. Feel empowered to find a Why that is life-giving to you, and notice how your mindset around exercise shifts in positive ways.
Thank you for sharing your story about this! I was wondering how you were able to actually make that change? I grew up playing sports, so exercise always had a very tangible goal, plus other people who were depending on me to show up and do well. I’ve found it hard — mostly when I am in a relationship and don’t feel that pressure to look good, like you said — to actually build new habits and *care* about exercise/movement for the sake of my own wellness. Maybe the answer for me is therapy… but I found myself wondering what brought about that shift for you, and how you were able to cut the negative self talk and actually care to just do it for you!