The sediments of my homeland shift downstream the Mississippi riding the brackish current all the way down to the Gulf. Where the air smells thick, a mosquito medium of mossy Magnolia branches line the streets where French wrought-iron gated homes stand next to modern housing. Breathtakingly beautiful and deeply steeped with a French-influenced magical culture, this is Louisiana, where I was born and raised.

~MalcyB

 

I grew up in southern Louisiana infatuated with my education. An education that happened to be a 40-minute drive away from home. I didn’t grow up with my own room or many of the things my friends got on their 16th birthdays, but my family was an incredibly strong support system for me. They encouraged me to latch onto the things that I loved and excelled at, so the material things began to matter less. Education mattered more. Science challenged me to think critically to learn about the world around me; French & English pushed me interact with the diversity of the world around me; and Visual Art plunged me into my reflections of the world around me. And though many life lessons came out of my school and my family alike, something was still missing, something little Malc still craved.

It wasn’t until moving away to Texas for college that I realized that craving was for relationships, for deep connections with people outside of my family. I had many friends in high school but was close with only a few since I lived so far away. University was where I learned how powerful connection can be as I formed strong bonds with people were who once strangers. People who became to be life-long friends and mentors. Through these people, I reimagined how to critically think about the world around me; I desired interaction with the people in the diverse world around me; and I discovered how to reflect and learn about myself in relation to those around me. So, you can imagine why I thrived when I moved to Kansas City and found Power Life—a sanctuary for those who value these immensely powerful person to person bonds.

Miles away from the salty, humid air I was used to breathing, I found my missing piece—genuine human connection. Just as we all crave food and shelter, we thirst for social interaction. Sociologists & neuroscientists say it’s why our brains are disproportionally larger than most mammals for the size of our bodies, because our human brains are hardwired to process social connection and belonging. Our brains expend this energy because it results in us feeling good, happier, more productive and more efficient. Connection improves our life at its very essence without changing our circumstances, simply our perspective!

I imagine the days when I have been stressed or felt dragged down and how the eye contact and warm smile of a stranger, a call or text from a loved one, or seeing a random act of kindness happen before me immediately lifted me out of that hole of negative energy. We all have felt this! Those simple acts cause our bodies to release oxytocin—a powerful hormone the body produces when holding hands, hugging someone, or during sexual intimacy—in conjunction with endorphins and other neurotransmitters that stabilize our brain chemistry and enhance our mood, memory, and social associations. Having strong connection in our lives literally elevates the health of our bodies: we live longer, our immune systems are stronger, we are better people overall.

Social interaction integrates our bodies, minds and spirits. Oh yeah… like our yoga practice, which extends far beyond asana, our movement and postures. This is but one limb on our 8-limbed path. The second limb, the Niyamas, are our spiritual observances that allow us to heighten our awareness of connection within one another. I think of santosha & tapas, respectively, contentment and discipline. Santosha is about finding satisfaction where we are, not necessarily happiness, but satisfaction. It means accepting what and where we are in this present moment. What can we learn from ourselves where we are now in our lives? In this quarantine? In the world? And tapas is our fiery discipline; discipline beyond holding ourselves to a schedule, to working hard to pay bills and take care of our loved ones, to aligning with cultural norms, etc. but instead the spiritual discipline we need to hold true to our values, our health/wellbeing, and of course the important and crucial, service to others. So where are our tapas right here and right now? For ourselves? For those around us?

Now of all times, we have an opportunity to capitalize on this. I have felt so lazy and lethargic some days during this quarantine—and noted that is fully through my privilege of being employed, being able to work from home, pay my bills, etc. A Zoom call with my coworkers, a FaceTime chat with old friends, some alone time to truly align with myself have all put me more at ease with where we are. And it’s not a bad place to be if we choose to use this time wisely…IF we choose to use this time wisely. Brené Brown powerfully speaks to how connection grows empathy, and through empathy we create a stronger self and stronger social ties, and ultimately a stronger world to live in. That’s a world I want to live in.

The benefits of our social connection could not be more important, especially as we are seeking ways to best serve each other in physical isolation. We have the privilege and opportunity to continue to connect and reinforce the depth of relationships already established. Think of the friends you used to see each day, your coworkers, other people you haven’t talked to in months. Call, text, FaceTime them!

On your next essential trip to the store or walk outside for some fresh air, shine your smile to the people around you.  Let’s be intentional in our practice and commitment to reinforce our lives—boost our spirits, our immunity, our collective fight to get through this together. I know I feel heightened when I see it, feel it and do it. This is the time you can foster connection to better integrate life. And that little fire you feel crackling inside of you will warm the hearts of those around you. #FindYourFire