Where will you be in 35 years? Where will the world be? How have issues like the polarization of government, birth rates, the wage gap, and tech and automation affected our economy?

Stressed out? Yeah, so was I.

These are questions posed to me during my Master’s program in a course called, Stages of Adult Development that I was not all too excited about since I’m studying Sport Psychology. Little did I know, this class would not only have me learning about brain plasticity, but envisioning my life at age 55 and then again at age 85. It would have me asking all the big questions on where my state was at those ages – physiologically, biologically, emotionally, psychologically, and socio-culturally. This … as you can imagine, was a wild ride through the crossroads of introspection and visualization.

While I had to take those questions into consideration, I had the privilege of stimulating my thinking and pondering some of life’s big questions:

  • What’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned in life?
  • Where, or who, feels like home to me?
  • Am I living true to myself?
  • What is the life I want when I grow old?
  • What really is important?
  • What will I leave behind?

I’ll take you through two of the most powerful exercises from these questions in hopes you find something meaningful for your own journey.

Exercise 1: What will you leave behind?
I believe this is a great place to start, but let’s put some walls around it. What comes to mind when you read that question – personal possessions, assets, and family heirlooms? Now, pick 5 personal items that you will pass along to 5 individuals. Why did you choose each item for everyone?

During this exercise, I began to consider what really matters. I realized the possessions I chose weren’t based on monetary worth, rather they were based on emotional worth and the memories that they held. As I started to reflect on what I value most in each possession, and how it symbolizes my experience with it, I felt grounded and at peace with what really matters in life. I realized that for most of the objects I chose had a benefit to me that was outside of its’ greatest ‘feature.’ If you choose to do this exercise, sit with it and see what comes from it.

When passing along the item to someone else, I considered how useful it would be to them, but most importantly I considered how the item reflected me and how they would be able to connect with me through the item. “Connect with me through the item” – man, did I really just say that? Yes, that item acts as a remembrance, just as my late grandma’s mid-century modern eclectic orange and brown lounge chair reminds me much of who she was; and how she continues to live. While the chair is a staple piece in my office, it can remind me of what my grandma taught me – read more than you watch, you can be soft, AND powerful, and sometimes you say more by saying less.

This poses the question – what will you leave behind?

This is not a question laced with fear or death, rather, its’ existential approach is there to give you vision and a purposeful direction. It’s the idea that you should begin with the end in mind. If you know what you want to be (or leave behind in this case) then you know what you need to do to get there. It is a question that pushes you towards considering your legacy.

Exercise #2 – Create an Emotional Will. An emotional will is about your legacy. It is a way to share your thoughts, values, lessons in life, passions, hopes and dreams with your children, friends, and future generations.

Embodying my grandma’s lesson that saying less can say more, I will let this exercise speak for itself.  With that, I will leave you with my emotional will. While it may be revised throughout the years to come, one thing is certain. This exercise has shifted my mind and made me think differently. That’s all I can really ask for.

Stefan’s Emotional Will (written at age 29, envisioned for age 85)

At 85, I understand that stillness is the key, the obstacle is the way, and the ego is the enemy. At 29, I thought I understood and lived out those stoic philosophies, but I realized that I had to experience, I had to learn, and I had to live through them to begin to understand them.

When life seems chaotic, find the stillness in the pause between the inhale and the exhale. When faced with an obstacle, keep in mind there’s a lesson. When there’s ego, and there always will be, make sure there’s more love.

Be slow in letting the mind label something ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – let time reveal that. Life, like yoga, is a practice and we are the student.

Lead with this and be curious what will follow. It’s messy. It’s beautiful. It’s yours.

Namaste,

Stefan